Heart of Stone
by The all mighty and powerfulM
Summary: Hearing his every thought, seeing her face in his mind, I realized what unbearable really was. I endured that to, for my pack, for my brother, for the safety of everyone. Now there is a way out of this pain and I must take it.
1. Chapter 1

**Heart of Stone**

_**We never learn,**_

_**Hurt together, Hurt Alone**_

_**Don't you sometimes**_

_**Wish your heart was made of stone**_

**Heart of Stone-Cher**

A howl sounded off in the distance. It sounded... heartbroken. I looked up at the moon shining down upon _his_ grey form. I knew leaving would break his heart but I have nothing else to give. _She_ stole everything I had in one instant. He still loves me, I know that. Our love will never die. However, _their_ love is stronger, I know this. I have accepted that, there is nothing else either of us could do about that. At first we tried to fight it, but fate seems to hate me. I bet if fate were a person, she would be laughing at me right now.

I took one last look at the beautiful La Push beach as I continue walking. Leaving will be one of the hardest things I will ever have to do, but I have to. I don't think he understands, not fully anyways. It is just too difficult for me to be around_ them._ It was almost unbearable at first but I endured it. I endured it for my family, I had to. Then after the change, hearing his every thought, seeing her face in his mind, I realized what unbearable really was. I endured that to, for my pack, for my brother, for the safety of everyone. Now there is a way out of this pain and I must take it. For the stench of a leech is much easier than the pain I felt. Also I cannot leave my brothers side in his decision. He is my family and I will not leave him, especially not for_ him._

"Why are you doing this?" I felt his presence before I saw him.

"You know why."

"Leah, please don't leave."

"How can you of all people say that to me? I have done everything for you, I have given you everything I had, and now, I must do this for me. Do not ask me to stay again."

"You said you would never leave." Pain was etched in his face.

"As did you."

"I never left." I looked into his chocolate eyes and wished I hadn't.

"Yes, yes you did. You left me."

"I tried not to, really I did." His eyes were begging me now but my eyes had turned cold many years ago and I could not even find it in my heart to feel pity for him.

"It doesn't matter. It will be easier for everyone now. I know the burden I placed on the pack, I know how my cold attitude hurts her, and I know how it hurts you to see me still."

"Not as much as you leaving will hurt me." A low howl reminded me that I needed to leave, and the timing was perfect. I guess fate was giving me a bit of a break.

"I have to go now. You'll always have a part of my heart, and I know I will have a part of yours but for now, it is my time to leave, my time to let go."

He opened his mouth to speak again but I put one finger on his warm lips to stop him.

"Go back to Emily, Sam."

He placed a gentle kiss on my finger and with that I turned my back on my first love's face forever.

A/N: I am not entirely too sure where I am going to take this but I was listening to heart of stone by Cher and being really depressed and just started writing. This takes place in Breaking Dawn when Leah join's Jake's pack. Tell me what you think and any ideas if you have them!


	2. 100 Round the Bends

**100 Round the Bends**

_**But then I see my damn reflection in your eyeball**_

_**And I want nothing more to do**_

_**With all the things you made me think I am**_

_**So, jump in my car, we'll go 100 round the bends**_

_**We'll take this road until we're back and start it again**_

_**Jump in my car, we'll go 100 round the bends**_

_**And we'll pretend, feeling rage is feeling real.**_

**100 Round the Bends- Missy Higgins. **

As I walked off I wanted to cry, really I did. I actually felt like I was walking away from him, when I desperately wanted to stay. I didn't cry, I couldn't, because tears don't fall from my eyes anymore. I have cried so much over the years, I don't have any tears left to cry; they've already fallen. Then I felt an emotion that I was all too familiar with; rage, blind, uncontrollable rage. With the rage came the trembling which I desperately tried to control. I calmed myself down enough not to phase; I was not ready for that just yet. Before I could phase I use to throw things, punch things, sometimes I ran, I even flung myself off the highest cliff in La Push. I am not sure whether phasing is more beneficial than my dealing techniques or not. I suppose it does not matter, like most things in my life, I had no choice in this either.

How could he accuse me of leaving? He was the one who left me first. He left me cold, alone and depressed. At least he was her. Who do I have? Jacob does not want me in his pack. I don't have to be a mind reading leech to know that. This was one of the reasons I did not want to phase yet. I'm sure he would let me, I am not sure how much choice he would have in the matter. He would understand what perspective I was coming from, of that I was sure. I have never talked to him about it but I know how he feels about the leech lover, Bella. I also know how she left him when her leech returned. I have seen it a million times how much that hurt him. It was almost unbearable. I suppose that is one of the things Jacob and I have in common. The loves of our lives have both left us for someone else. Maybe I can teach him how to be a bitter, sadist bitch while when I transfer into his pack.

I remember the look on Sam's face the day he left me. He looked much like he did today. Both times he looked heartbroken, confused, and completely regretful. The only difference is the first day it was fate that made him look like this, today it was me. I made him look like that. Being the bitch I was, I should be satisfied but I'm not. I feel many of those emotions right now but this is my decision. It is better this way. I can burden less people this way. I do understand how much of a burden I am on everyone. I am the only female wolf, which I suppose would be much like being the only girl on an all boys hockey team. Sure they include you but at the end of the game, you walk lonely down the dark, deserted arena to your change room while the boys celebrate in their own. It pains Emily to see me look at her the way in which I do. I cannot be rude to her, alpha's orders, but he cannot control the way I look at her. I believe the saying "if looks could kill" means a hell of a lot more if the person who is wishing you were dead was someone who meant a lot to you. It may not harm you physically but emotionally, it tears you up inside. For in some moments that I have looked at her with so much hate I know she wished she were dead.

I walked to the edge of La Push faster than I would have liked but I suppose I have wallowed in my own self- pity for long enough. It was time to face the music, time to face the new people in which I would burden with my curse.

A/N: I had a really good idea so I figured I would write this chapter. The idea hasn't come up yet, and neither has Jake lol. But they are both coming, soon. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! It makes me so happy that people like this story! I don't reply to reviews but I will answer your questions in my Author Notes. So to Rougue Assasin, I already have plans for Nessie but if I go into detail I'll make sure to include something about that lol. Maybe just a one time thing with Claire or something lol. There's not enough girl characters in the books lol. Also if you have not noticed I have songs for each chapter so if you have a song that would go along with this story or one you just love, let me know and I will try to include it.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Wrong Girl**

_**So the floodgates open but nothing comes out**_

_**I'm feeling no relief in my head, just doubt**_

_**But my heart keeps telling me, "Hold your ground**_

_**You'll never learn a thing if you bail out now"**_

**The Wrong Girl- Missy Higgins**

As I phased, I could feel, rather than hear Jake's confusion. I mentally sighed.

_Yes, I'm joining your pack too Jake._

_But, why? You don't even like Bella, and you hate the Cullen's. _

I thought about making up some bullshit story about how I would take pity on Bella because she's pregnant or something like that but I realized that one, no one would buy it, and two, they could tell I was lying. So I swallowed my pride and told the truth.

_I would rather become best friends with all of the Cullen's than tolerate him anymore than I have to. _

Jake understood, as I know he would. He loved Bella, and even though he wouldn't hurt her, he would not ever want to get inside her head as she thought of her love, Edward. It is a vicious cycle, love is. One minute someone loves you, the next they don't. Jacob and I were not close at all but he understood me, and I understood him. We knew what it felt to watch someone we love, love someone else. Though neither of us would ever admit to this, we both were grateful we knew someone else going through this. Time heals all wounds but those wounds leave scars, ugly reminders of the pain you once went through. Jacob accepted me into his pack, almost unwillingly but that I was use to that. No one wants a bitter, unhappy woman around them all the time but someone had to put up with me.

That night, for the first time ever, I slept as a wolf. I had never done that before, always wanting to go to sleep human, in a nice warm bed. Well my bed was the hard ground, and the only warmth was my abnormally hot body temperate. I didn't feel the relief I had hoped I would feel, I felt doubt. What if this is the wrong decision? What if something bad happens to Seth? But I knew that I would not be able to help Seth if I were in Sam's pack so I would stick with my decision. I would stick with Jacob. In my opinion he was a better Alpha than Sam anyway, I suppose my opinion was bias though. A snort pulled me out of my thought.

_I suppose I should thank you for that compliment, even if it is a tad bit biased. Compliments from Leah Clearwater are few and far between these days._

_Just don't tell anyone I said anything nice about you, it would ruin my reputation. _

We smiled to each other, probably the first real smile I have had in quite a long time.

_I won't tell a soul, I promise. I just figured I would tell you that the Cullen's have spare beds, clothes and food if you want it._

I was tempted but stubborn so I refused.

_I knew that would be your answer, always so stubborn, Leah. I suppose we wouldn't have it any other way though, would we?_

_Never, you have to take what you get. I already told you that you were a good Alpha, don't push it._

Jake snickered but he turned serious.

_Actually, speaking of which, would you mind phasing back so we could talk about something? I don't really want Seth to overhear. _

He left while I phased and put one of the stupid summer dresses I bought for when I was phasing, much easier than jeans and a t-shirt but they still made me a bit uncomfortable. He came back and gave me a quick once over. Once the pack has seen you naked you get use to being checked out. I doubt they can help it but I like to give them a hard time about it sometimes.

"Wow, a dress?"

"Shut up, it is easy to put on and take off while phasing. Now, what did you want to talk about?"

Jake went right back into business mode. Maybe I wasn't being biased when I though he was a good Alpha.

"Um, well, as you know, I didn't really want to be Alpha. I honestly did not expect anyone to come with me when I decided to leave Sam's pack."

"Uh huh." I really hoped he wasn't kicking me out of the pack already. I felt panic flow through me; I was not going back to Sam. I had tried that enough times, I would not do it again.

"Well if I am Alpha then I need a Beta. At first I figured it was just me and Seth so there was no one to choose."

Oh, that's what this is about. "I don't mind if you pick Seth, Jake. Really, it doesn't bug me at all."

"I know, Leah. I wasn't going to ask Seth though. I was wondering if you would be my Beta?"

The way he said it made me look intently at him. He phrased it the same way a thirteen year old boy asks a girl to be his girlfriend; shyly, quietly, hopeful, but unsure of the answer.

"Me? Are you sure, Jacob?"

I had been a burden for so long, I had not thought that I could actually be helpful in any situation.

"Yeah, Seth is so young and he should not have that amount of responsibility on his shoulders. Plus, I think you would make a great Beta, your strong, you know what you are doing, and you think things through before you do them. I never think before I act so maybe you'll help with my decisions."

I had to think about it for a minute. I had no idea why Jake would pick me but I did agree that Seth was too young. Besides this is Jacob's pack and I owed him for letting me in it.

"If you are sure that you want me to be Beta, then, yes. You are my Alpha now, and I must respect your decisions. Your Alpha for a reason."

"Great! You'll do great, I know you will. And thanks, I know you don't actually want to be here but it means a lot to me that you are."

With that, he reached over, hugged me and left. I stared after him. No one hugged me, no one, ever. The look in his eyes before he left also caught me off guard. The way he looked at me made me feel important, something else no one could do anymore.

**A/N:** This chapter is a bit longer, and it has Jacob in it! Yay! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and to Rougue Assasin, I would love that life but she is just in pain right now, imagine being stuck with an ex in your head for, well, ever. Not so fun, eh? But she will get happier, and we may have a new certain Alpha to thank for that lol. Also to all of those who put this on alerts or favourites, thanks a bunch! I would love it even more if you reviewed as well though, lol.


	4. You're Gorgeous

**You're Gorgeous **

_**Because you're gorgeous  
I'd do anything for you  
Because you're gorgeous  
I know you'll get me through**_

**You're Gorgeous- Babybird**

There was something about Leah, something new, something I did not understand, something I don't think I could understand. When she joined the pack I didn't know what to think. I was not very happy; I never liked Leah that much. She was a bitch most of the time. Now I felt differently, and I was not sure why. When I went to talk to her I had meant to tell her that Seth was going to be my Beta. I wanted her to know that before I told him, and he was going to be my Beta merely because he joined this fucked up pack first. I didn't want her to hear my thoughts when I told her so I suggested we changed. Then when I saw her in that fucking hot-as-hell sundress I instantly changed my mind. I wanted her as my Beta; hell I wanted her to be mine in a completely different way but I settled for her being my Beta. I felt an animalistic urge deep inside me threaten to spill over when I hugged her but I shrugged it off. What is wrong with me? I wish I could ask someone but there was no one I could tell. Besides, what would I say, "I want to fuck the shit out of the only female in the pack but I have no idea why."? That didn't seem like something that would go over well with anyone. I can't imagine what someone would say to something like that.

I couldn't understand my attraction to Leah. I mean, sure she was very pretty, but I've always known that and have never felt like this around her. I really, and I mean_ really _wanted her, in a way I have never wanted anyone else in my life, not even Bella. It was almost, animalistic. I made my way back to the Cullen's house, where Seth was located. I didn't want to phase around him until I could control my thoughts. I know _he _could still read my mind but that didn't matter too much, he wasn't worrying about what I was thinking, he was worrying about _her. Her, _who I could not escape from, even though I desperately wanted to. Even with the desperate want, hell possibly need to have sex with Lead (wow that sounded weird, even in my head, note to self; don't think about Leah while phasing, Seth would be pissed), I still loved Bella.

I smelt a strange presence before I got to the house and instantly tensed. It didn't smell like a leech though, which relaxed me some but I still didn't know who it was. It wasn't as human either which was not a good sign. I walked cautiously up the stairs to the house and opened the door.

"So, this is the Alpha of the pack?" A Native American man with long dark brown hair exclaimed as I walked into the house. I quickly surveyed this man. His hair was thin and long, running past his chest. He was tall, and was of medium build, not bulky but with defined muscles. His voice was light but his face was serious, so serious it looked as if it rarely was anything but. His face was defined with a strong jaw and high cheekbones.

"Yes, I am the Alpha, what business is it of yours?" I was sceptical of how he knew I was the Alpha, hell, how he knew I was a werewolf.

"How rude of me, I did not introduce myself properly. My name is Caden Jones. I am Alpha in my pack in Andover Massachusetts. I have been looking for your tribe for a long time now. I am very relieved to find it."

This unsettled me more than a little. I had just formed this pack so how could he have been looking for it. I did not want to tell him anymore information than I had to though. "Why have you been looking for us? Why are you here now? What are you?"

He chuckled deep from his throat. "Whoa, one question at a time, my friend. I am the same as you, a werewolf, merely from another part of the land. I have not been looking for you per say, but a member of your pack."

I instantly knew it was Leah. Seth and I would be nothing to a man like him. I felt instantly possessive. What did he want with Leah? Furthermore, why did I care so much? That was something to ponder later, for now, I must deal with him. "Why?"

He must have noticed my possessive stance. "Calm down, I mean no harm to anyone. Perhaps we should discuss this with your whole pack before I explain, it's quite a story." I did not like that idea but I could see that he was right, I reluctantly went to phase and tell the others about the visitor and to come to the house. Just before I phased and howled to the others I heard him faintly mutter, "I see he's made her Beta."

That comment irked me for not understanding it but I howled to let Leah and Seth know to come to the house. I changed back quickly in order to be around this man longer, I wanted to make sure he really meant no harm to anyone, not just my pack. It didn't take Leah or Seth that long to get here, which was good because I was going insane with wondering what this man could possibly want with Leah.

"This had better be good, Jake. I just got to sleep, which is incredibly hard to do on the ground, might I add." Leah glared at me.

I took one look at her and wished that I hadn't. She was wearing that god damn sundress again and I felt as if I could not take my eyes off her for one second. I knew in that one instant that I was under her will for anything and all because she was gorgeous. If she asked me to run myself over with a truck, wearing that sundress I knew that I would. That scared the shit out of me.

"Jacob! Stop staring at my sister! Dude, it's just plain creepy!" Seth broke me out of my spell.

Fuck, I had been caught staring. Being smooth as I am I just looked down and murmured a "Sorry."

"Now, why the fuck are we here?" Leah asked, looking slightly flustered.

She was not the only one. It was then that I realized why I had called them here. "There is a guy here saying he was looking for us."

He decided then it was time to make an appearance. He walked right over to Leah, his eyes taking all of her in, and for the third time that day I wished she hadn't wore that sundress because I was not the only one taking advantage of the view of Leah it offered.

"Wow, you are a Goddess, a gorgeous Goddess of the wolves." Leah looked even more flustered and uncomfortable.

In true Leah fashion the flustered look did not last long. "Who the fuck are you?"

This time the chuckle sounded more real. "As I have just told your Alpha, I am Caden, and I have waited a long time for this moment. I have searched for you all over, and here I find you, in the same house as vampires." He laughed again, and it was then I realized we had an audience. The Cullen's, minus Blondie and Edward were all lined up, looking very uncomfortable at having an unfamiliar wolf in the house.

"Perhaps we should take this somewhere else." I suggested, not really knowing where to go. I just knew that more drama in the Cullen household would not be welcomed.

"Of course, lead the way, Alpha." Caden said, barely glancing at me before looking right back at Leah.

The next move I will never be held accountable for; I simply could not help myself. It was as if another presence had taken over my body. I walked over to Leah, put both of my arms protectively around her and silenced her protests with a kiss.

**A/N: **Sorry it took me so long to update. I worked 102 in the last two weeks, which is insane! This is not very long but I couldn't help but leave it there. Sorry about the cliffy. Also to anyone who is surprised with Jake's actions, so am I. I didn't know that was going to happen until I wrote it. I also have a website for the fic now. Leahsheartofstone(dot)piczo(dot)com . There's a picture of the sundress and of Caden on there, it's under my pictures.


	5. Sex on Fire

**A/N:** Lemon Warning (kind of obvious, the chapter is called Sex on Fire lol.). Also I forgot to mention that I don't own Twilight. I do own Caden's character, unfortunately I don't the actual person I posted as him lol.

**Sex On Fire**

**Hot as a fever, rattling bones,**

**I could just taste it, taste it**

**If it's not forever, if it's just tonight**

**Oh, it's still the greatest, the greatest, the greatest**

**You, your sex is on fire**

**And you, your sex is on fire**

I faintly heard Seth's protest of "What the fuck? Jacob!" but I paid no mind. I also heard someone take him inside the Cullen's house with a chuckle and a sigh. I also paid no attention to that; for there was something or should I say someone who had captured all of my attention. When my lips first met hers, I could feel her protests. Then, they simply melted away. Leah put both of her arms my neck and melted her body into mine, as her lips met mine, hard. All rational thought had gone out of my head and all that was left was this burning need for her, for Leah. She moaned into my mouth as she felt my hard on through her light sundress and I took this as encouragement. I slid my tongue into her mouth. She attempted to gain dominance but only for a second before she submitted completely. Had she been any other woman I would have gladly let her take the lead but not Leah. There was something about Leah that made me feel as if I had to take control. As I was deciding that air was over-rated was about the same time she decided that it was not. I growled and my lips began an assault on her neck.

"Jacob." She moaned, tilting her head back, granting me more access to her delicious neck. "Jacob. We, uh, we, need to- oh." She tried to stutter out until I found the spot where her neck met her shoulder and she moaned again.

"We need to, what, Leah?" I asked, looking up at her from my spot on neck.

Her eyes opened, heavy from lust and the look she sent me went straight down to my cock.

"We need to go somewhere else, now." Her voice was just above a whisper, panting out each word yet demanding the now.

With that I swiftly picked her up, wrapping her legs around my waist, making us both moan at the contact, and began walking towards the forest. Her hands were still wrapped around my neck and her lips followed. She started sucking softly at my neck, running her hands through my hair. I found it hard to walk but managed knowing that doing this in front of the Cullen's house would not be appreciated. There also was the threat of anyone else seeing Leah naked, a thought that I could not bear. The sucking turned harder, then nibbling, and finally biting. The last straw was when her mouth found my ear. She took my earlobe into her mouth and ran her teeth along it.

"This is far enough, Jake." Her hot breath on my wet ear made me groan with want and I promptly pushed her against a tree.

My mouth found hers and we began kissing hard again. My hands ran along both of her sides until they reached behind her, pushing her body more firmly into my own. She moaned into my mouth once again as my tongue ran inside of her mouth. She gasped for air again and I took that as a chance to look down. Leah was panting for breath and her eyes were full of lust as she took deep breaths in. The sundress was still tied firmly around her neck but looking down I could make out the valley between her glorious breasts. The bottom of it had ridden up to her thighs, exposing her perfect thighs to me.

"This god damn sundress will be the end of me, I fucking swear it will."

She looked up at me with a teasing smirk. "Well then, you had better take it off."

I needed no more invitation than that to quickly untie the strings that held it up. She lifted both of her arms up, allowing me to slip the dress off of her head and throw it on to the ground. The site that met me would have turned a gay man straight.

"You don't wear anything under your clothes?" I growled out.

She seemed unfazed. "Never, it's too hard to carry around while running." She smirked what was becoming my new favourite smile, the hint of teasing in her voice as she said never. "I'm willing to bet, you are not wearing anything under your shorts either." She said in a husky voice as she ground her naked pelvis into me. She then put her hands on my shoulders and unhooked her legs from behind me. She cut off my protests when her hands moved down towards my shorts. "Let's take a look, shall we?" Her husky breath in my ear sent me on overdrive.

Her hands made it way under my shorts and I could not control my moan. She slowly tugged them down and to my surprise, as the shorts went down, so did Leah. I stepped out of them when they reached my ankles, then I had to look down. Leah was on her knees directly in front of me and at exactly the right height. It was a sight to take in, Leah on her knees, naked, in front of me. When she looked up at me, I had to fight to urge to plunge into her mouth right then and there. Her long lashes blinked in awe at the size of me and I caught a whiff of a delicious smell. I inhaled deeply to catch it again and I realized suddenly that it was Leah. The delicious smell was all Leah, her arousal for me evident now. I had to fight back the urge to take her as I inhaled once more. All thoughts completely left me as I felt her moist lips wrap around my head. She sucked slowly on it before removing her mouth. A disappointed moan almost left my lips before it was replaced by a different one as her tongue darted out and licked the pre-cum which had formed.

"Mm" She moaned, looking up at me, under those long lashes. "Delicious."

With that one word, she took me deep in her mouth and I could not stop the deep groan which escaped me. I smelt her arousal again, and this time I could not resist the urge anymore.

"Enough." I said in a commanding, almost Alpha voice.

My penis left her mouth with a 'pop' and I smelt a fresh wave of her arousal. Apparently, she liked my Alpha voice. I picked her up and pressed her back against the tree.

"I cannot stand your teasing anymore, Leah. I need you now." I growled into her neck.

"Then take me." And with that, I did.

I grunted as her tight walls closed around me. She moaned when I pushed myself deeper inside of her. Her hands were on my back, nails digging into my skin, making me groan. I kissed my way down her neck, then her chest, and finally taking a perk nipple into my mouth.

"Oh, Jacob." She groaned loudly.

I continued to thrust, her legs wrapping around my waist so I could go deeper still. My hands found their way around her and I placed them on her hips to allow me to go the speed that I wanted to. Her nails worked their way up my back to my neck and I shuddered under her touch. I began to thrust faster, both of us panting out the other's name. I felt my end coming quickly but knew that I could not go over the edge without her. I moved one hand from her waist, sliding it between our bodies and found a bundle of nerves that made her throw her head back and scream my name. Her orgasm came quickly and I bit her exposed neck hard enough to make her shiver with a second one, sending me on my way, growling out her name possessively.

Recovering fairly quickly, I pulled out of her slowly but let her body rest against mine. For a second the only sound I could hear was her panting, trying to recover her breath. In true Leah fashion, the silence did not last long.

"What the fuck was that?" She asked, looking up at me.

'_Fucking Fantastic._' I thought in my head. I looked down at her and realized by her unimpressed look that I had spoken those words out loud.

**A/N: **Wow, anyone else feeling hot? I sure do, did someone turn the heat on? I wasn't going to write that but I wasn't sure how I was going to write the next chapter. I knew what I wanted to say but not how to say it. Now, I know so that should be comforting. A little lemonade makes everyone's day. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! 


	6. Where I Stood

**A/N: **I was thinking of a new summary and this is it: Love is like being on a bumpy dirt road in a four wheel truck. Jacob and Leah did not want love, so the path they are on is in the forest on an old four wheeler. Or something like that, what do you think? Let me know. Ps, I don't own Twilight, I do own two i-pod shuffles and one broken charger lol.

**Where I Stood**

_**I don't know what I've done  
Or if I like what I've begun  
But something told me to run  
And honey you know me it's all or none**_

There were sounds in my head  
LIttle voices whispering  
That I should go and this should end  
Oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you  
All I know is that I should

**Where I stood- Missy Higgins**

I stared at Jake in disbelief. Did he just fucking say that? I mean, yeah, it was fucking fantastic, but come on! Actually that was the best sex I have ever had, still though.

"I'm sorry, Leah." He said, sensing my disbelief, yet he did not stop there. The idiot kept talking, "But come on, it was pretty fucking amazing."

I pushed him off of me, and began searching for my clothes.

"Aw Leah, you have to admit it was good though, wasn't it?" I shot the idiot who could not seem to keep his closed a dirty look as I continued looking for my dress. I found his shorts and threw them to him. "It was good for me anyway, was it not good for you?" Jacob asked put his shorts on, looking down at the ground.

Oh, for fuck's sake, he was being shy now? I sighed. "Yes, Jake it was good, hell, fucking fantastic even." His head shot up at those words with a huge smile on his face. "But that is not the point, how did it happen? Why did it happen? I have never felt anything like that before in my life." I ranted on.

"I don't know, Leah. I have no sweet fucking clue how or why it happened. I just know that it did, isn't that all that matters?" The hardness in his voice made me stop my search and look up into his eyes, which were all over my still naked body. He moved closer to me and put his hands on my hips. "You still feel it, don't you? I know you do I can see it in your eyes, Leah." The way he said my name sent shivers down my back and I seemed to melt into him.

"We-we need to go back there, Jacob. What's his face and Seth are waiting for us." Oh fuck my life, Seth! He seemed to realize the same thing and he moved back and reached behind me and pulled out my dress. "How the fuck did you find that? Did you know where that was the whole fucking time?" I snatched it away from him quickly.

"Kind of, but I didn't want you to put it back on. As much as I love that dress on you, Leah, I love it even more off of you." He placed it over my head, kissing every inch of skin before it was concealed in the dress. He placed a kiss on the side of my neck where he had bitten before tying the straps and I moaned. His eyes darkened but he stepped away from me. "We do need to get back though your brother is going to fucking kill me."

"I'd lie and say that he won't care but he will care. Fuck me!" I exclaimed throwing my hands up in the air.

Immediately after saying this Jake had both of my hands in one of his, and another around my waist, backing me up to the tree again. "Say that again, Leah, and I swear to god I will." He growled lightly into my ear.

I resisted the urge, and moaned lightly instead. As much as I wanted to, I knew he was not bluffing and we really did need to go back. He gave me one hard kiss on the lips, let go of my arms and took a step back.

"Come on, Leah. Let's go see what this fucker has to say." Jake began walking and I followed, quickly catching up to him. There was no fucking way I was letting him lead; I had way too much pride for that. I chuckled in my head at that though, I won't walk behind him because of my pride but I let him fuck me up against a tree, God, I really am messed up.

It didn't take us long to make our way back to the Cullen house. There's nothing like the walk of shame through a forest and straight into an enemy's house, where your brother happens to be. Maybe they will think we were just talking. I looked down at my dress and sighed. My white sundress was ripped and had dirt smeared all over it. What in the world possessed me to buy a white sundress when I was in the forest most of the time was beyond me.

"I need to get my backpack from the Cullen's house after we talk this weird situation out." I told Jake, who had been weirdly quiet, the whole walk back.

"Why?" Jake asked, looking at me curiously.

I shot him my best your-an-idiot look before replying. "Have you seen this stupid thing? It's covered in dirt and there is a fucking hole in it!" I poked my finger in the hole near the bottom of the dress.

Jacob laughed at me and my misfortune. I shot him an annoyed look before muttering, "It's all your fault anyway."

"You keep telling yourself that, sweetheart, but it takes two, and I didn't hear you complaining." He chuckled.

"Sweetheart? What the fuck? When am I ever sweet?" I countered, not being able to argue with the rest of his logic.

"I can think of a time." He said smugly.

Oh, fuck my life. Really? I huffed, crossed my arms over my chest and pouted. We could see the Cullen house in the distance now.

"Oh, and sweetheart, you may not want to cross your arms like that when we get there."

I swear to god I am going to kill him, well maybe not kill him. He is really good in bed, but I'll beat the shit out of him anyway. "Why is that?" I glared.

"I can see your tits." Jake, knowing me too well did the smartest thing he had done all day, he ran. I looked down and sure enough, when I crossed my arms, my stupid dress came down in the front. I dropped my arms and ran after him.

We made it to the house in record time and I managed to catch up with him as he was running inside. I slapped him hard across the back of his head, muttered a, "Fucking idiot", and went inside before him. He followed behind me, pouting, while I just rolled my eyes. I knew we were in trouble when Seth shot us a death glare. I blushed and looked down at the floor but not Jake; he grinned widely and winked at him. Well at least I don't have to beat him up anymore.

~*~*~*~*~

Ten minutes later, we were sitting down at a table at the Cullen's house. Seth had finally stopped shaking and glaring at us and was now smiling widely (can someone say bi-polar?). Jake had a black eye and a few bruised ribs, which were healing by the time we had sat down. I had changed into my other sundress, which, against my better judgement was white but it was better than the last one. Caden looked slightly amused at the whole situation and was now smirking to himself. His eyes raked over my body once again and I heard Jake growl.

"Can you tell us why you are here now? I am getting quite impatient." I said rolling my eyes at Jacob's behaviour.

"Yes, I suppose we can." Caden's amused expression quickly turned into a serious one. "I already told Jacob that I was looking for your pack for a long time. While that is correct, it is not the complete truth. I have been looking for you, Leah, for a long time."

"Me? Why me?" I asked, thoroughly confused.

Jacob growled and Seth looked just as confused as I did.

"You, Goddess, are the only female wolf known to this world in this age."

I am the only one? Oh good, I'm even more of a freak than I ever thought.

"Don't sigh, princess, it is definitely not a bad thing. It is a shame that you have never been treated as you should have been. If you were in my pack-"

He was cut off by Jacob, "Well, she's not in your pack, she's in mine. So can you please get with it?" Jake growled.

He was shaking slightly, which is never a good sign with wolves. I couldn't understand why he was acting like this but then again, since I joined this pack there have been too many things that I did not understand. I shot him a look but he was too busy glaring at Caden to look my way. I nudged him with my foot again and shot him another "fuck off" look and he looked at me and nodded slightly. The look in his eyes was filled with doubt and I knew what he was thinking. He was thinking that I would leave with Caden and abandon his pack. I reached under the table and put my hand onto of his, making him understand that I was not leaving him. His shaking stopped and he took a deep breath as Caden began again.

"Once, in a time too far back to tell when, there was another female wolf. She was the mother of all the wolves. She too was a Goddess, the Goddess of the wolves. I'd imagine she looked quite similar to you, Leah. No one can be sure what she looked like, just that her beauty outstood all, just as yours does. She had a mate, just as all female wolves do, and he was powerful beyond belief. It is rumoured that he was more powerful than her because she gave herself up to him, making him stronger. Though no one knows for sure how, one day her mate was destroyed by a group of wolves, jealous of his power and his mate. Being without her mate, her stability, and fuelled by anger, she cursed all of the wolves. She cursed them for killing her mate, for breaking her heart, but most of all, for not treating her as she deserved. She deemed all wolves incapable of having a mother, of having a Goddess, and cursed them with a power so deeply, everyone was affected. She declared that there would never be another Goddess of the wolves until all wolves could become worthy of her. She left after that day, never to return again. A legend suggests that after cursing the wolves, she decided that she could not leave such a heavy burden upon every single wolf. She declared that even though they deserved no mercy, she would give them some. Her mercy came in the form of the new wolf Goddess. The new Goddess would be stronger than she was, and much less merciful. She would have to be stronger in all ways so not to be fooled again by any wolf." Caden finished the story with those words.

We all sat there in a stunned silence. He was saying that I was a Goddess of the wolves? Is he crazy? He doesn't even know me yet. Seth was the first one to break the silence.

"So you're saying that my sister is some kind of God to all wolves?" He said, trying to work things over in his head.

"Goddess, but yes, she is." Caden corrected him.

"Why should we believe you?" Jake seemed to be having a harder time than Seth was.

"Why shouldn't you? I also have proof of all of this."

"Proof? I'd like to see that." I said, finally. Why should I believe someone I have never met?

"Of course you would, sweetheart. All you have to do is come with me, and I will show you." Caden said sweetly, as if he were trying to lure a small child with candy.

What the hell is it with everyone calling me sweetheart anyway? I am not fucking sweet!

"Come with you? What do you mean?" Jake asked, shaking again. I squeezed his hand and he calmed himself down.

"I can take you where it all began, to the homeland of all our kind." Caden said.

"And where is this?" Jake asked, seething.

"Alaska." Caden answered.

Seth laughed. "Alaska? All were wolves are from Alaska?"

"Why is this funny? Did you ever wonder why we are so hot? We are hot so that we can withstand any temperate, especially an Alaskan winter."

Well that did kind of make sense I suppose. Wait, he wants me to go to Alaska? Fuck.

"You want me to go there?" I asked, almost speechless.

"Well yes, you can understand everything much better after seeing it. Also you will know how it is you should be treated, as the Goddess you are. It would give so many of us hope after we thought all was lost."

Jake lowly growled at him. At the rate of comfort, I am going to be on his lap soon!

"Of course, your mate can come too." Caden answered quickly.

"Mate?" Seth asked the question I was just about to answer.

"I think you are mistaken, Jake is not my mate."

Caden looked at me, eyebrows raised and smirked. "He's not? I believe you are mistaken there, Leah."

"No, she's not. We're not mates." Jake said, grinding his teeth.

"Don't worry; I can explain all of that too. So, what do you say?" Caden said, cheerfully.

"I-I don't know. This is all happening too quickly for me. My mind cannot process all of this yet." It was a long day, and with this news, I knew it would be longer.

"Take your time, princess. My men and I have a hotel room in Port Angeles; we will stay until you have made your decision." With that, he handed both me and Jake his card and walked out of the room.

"What do you want to do, Leah?" Seth said gently, breaking the silence.

"Well, I can't actually leave, Seth."

"Why not?" He asked.

"Well, I joined this pack for you but the both of you formed it for Bella. I can't just abandon it." I explained, still thinking about it.

"You wouldn't be going alone." Jake said quietly.

I whipped around to look at him. "What do you mean?"

"If you are going, then so am I." He said quietly but with determination that I knew I could not shake.

"I can stay here and make sure things are ok with Bella. The pack won't mess with her with me here." Seth piped up.

"This is absurd. I can't just leave and go to Alaska!"

"You can if you want, Leah. Think it over, and let us know what you decide." Jake said quietly, rubbing small circles on my hand.

Later that night I sat in the forest thinking about it all. Could I really leave La Push behind? I suppose I could, there is nothing left here for my anymore. That thought brought a stray tear to my eye. I knew that I should go, but leaving everything behind would be hard. Everything was here, my life, my family, my love. I shook my head out. That was why I should go, to be away from Sam. That was also the exact reason that I wanted to stay.

**A/N:** Holy crap, that is a long chapter! That has to be the longest yet, its double most of the other ones. I am moving into my dorm on Monday so hopefully this will tide everyone over for awhile. Sorry about the cliffie but hey, it gives you something to think about. Thanks to everyone, and Review! Ps. Does anyone else notice how much Jake growls? Sorry but I think it's hot lol.


	7. Letting Go and Holding On

**A/N:** Sorry it has been so long! This chapter is really short, and has no song to go with it. I just really wanted to get it out so you don't have to wait so long. I am getting stuck now, and have a tad bit of writers block. I also have been crazy busy with school, I am sick today, which is why I am updating. Thanks everyone! Ps. Twilight is not mine!

**Letting Go and Holding On.**

They say the hardest thing to do is to watch the one you love, love someone else. So I guess I can check that one off my list of shit I had to go through in life. I wonder if they included female werewolves who were first thought as outcasts, and then some kind of wolf goddess. Why then, did it feel like leaving Sam would be the hardest thing I had ever done? Why couldn't I still leave him? I mean I suppose I did leave him, but I only went twenty minutes away. I wonder what going to Alaska would do for me. I really wondered what it would do for him. Would he care? I wish I could say that he would not, but I knew he would. That is one of the things I hated most about Sam; that he still loved me. True, he loved Emily more, but he loved me all the same. I knew it, he knew it, hell the whole pack knew it; and yet it did not change a single thing. In the end, that is what made me decide to go; if he could still love me and move on, then so could I. So I would go to Alaska, and maybe on the way, me and Jacob would figure out this weird sex thing on the way; or at least have some more of it.

My decision seemed much easier said than done. I did not go to La Push to say goodbye to anyone for I knew that if I did they would try to convince me to stay. I also knew that if they tried to get me to stay that there was a chance that I would consider it. I needed to leave, it would be good for me. So with a heavy heart I gave a big hug to Seth, Jacob and I left in big black car with Caden and his men.

The weird thing about the men with Caden was how they looked at me. I had noticed the stares men had given me before but that was nothing compared to this. They did not stare outright as Caden had but through me discreet glances, as if they were doing something they should not have. Each time they did this, Jake would growl, glare at them and put his arm around me protectively. By the time we were in the plane, a private plane, mind you, I had had enough!

"Jacob Black! What the fuck is your problem?"

Jake just sighed and shook his head. "I really don't know, Leah. I just can't help it. When another man looks at you, I feel as if I should be beating the crap out of them."

The youngest of the men with Caden was just a boy, 16 at the most, and he quickly put his head down, hiding behind his long hair.

"Yeah, that has been dully noticed." I said, sarcastically, shooting him a glare. "But why, though?"

"Are you fucking hard of hearing, woman? I said, I Don't Know!" He said, stressing out his last words.

"Woman? Ex-fucking-cuse me! You did not just call me that!" Fucking bastard, although I can't help but notice how hot Jake is when he is mad.

Jacob eyes suddenly turned dark. I should have recognized the glint in his eyes but I did not.

"I did just call you that, Leah; for that is what you are, a woman." He said, his arms moving to grab my hips. His lips trailed my ear, "My woman." He whispered huskily, nibbling on my ear.

I should have hit him. I should have yelled at him. I should have defended myself; making it known I was not his woman, I was no one's. Instead of doing any of those things, I kissed him, roughly. My hands went to his hair and I straddled him lap.

"Prove it." I dared in a whisper against his lips.

"Leah, Jacob?" A voice called out. "We realize that you are having a moment but there are young eyes in the audience. Also, Jacob, do you really want us to see Leah like that?"

Jacob growled deeply, tightened his arms around me and glared at Caden, who had just interrupted us. "No one gets to see Leah like that." He growled out.

"I know, Jacob. You are putting on quite a show for us though." Caden said, nodding to my dress, which had ridden up to my thighs.

I used all my strength to hold Jake down in his seat, and have him not attack Caden. I ran my hand through his shaking hair until he calmed down enough to straighten out my dress, glaring at everyone in the room.

"I can also add some insight to why you are feeling so protective of Leah." He said, once Jake had calmed down.

I turned my head to look at Caden, trying to get off of Jake, feeling quite embarrassed now. I felt the blush stain my cheeks as I tried to lift myself off of Jake. Jake was having none of that. He kept his death grip on my hips and moved me around so I could at least face Caden and the rest of his men.

"I have never seen you blush before, Leah." He chuckled against my skin. "I have to say, it looks truly marvellous." He placed a kiss on the side of my neck and then turned his attention to Caden. "What is it?"

"Well, the female wolf responds to Alpha's. They mate with Alpha's because of their power and dominance. So, when you became the Alpha of the pack, Leah became instantly attracted to you. In return, all wolves respond to the female but only an Alpha can feel the attraction completely to her, and mated with her instantly when she joined your pack." Caden explained.

Jake looked at me with his eyebrows raised. "That makes no sense at all. Why didn't Sam mate with her?"

"Well, as I heard it, Sam had imprinted before Leah changed into a wolf. Although, had Leah already been a wolf before he imprinted, he may have been. Imprinting can change the course of any path. The reason why you dated Sam before he was a wolf was probably because you could tell he was going to become one, and your body responded. As a female, you do not imprint, you mate. You mate for life. After mating, whoever the imprint was to your mate has their path changed, usually being imprinted on by another wolf. Also, as I understand it, Sam was never the true Alpha. The true Alpha was you, Jacob, you just did not claim it until now. You are the true Alpha and so Leah is your mate."

I tried to let the things Caden said sink in but the word mate was a foreign one to me. Jake and I were mated? Had Sam not imprinted I may have been with him? Or had Sam not imprinted and Jacob take the Alpha role, would I have left Sam for Jacob, without being able to help it? I looked at Jacob pensive look when his eyes met mine. The same emotion that I was sure were dancing in mine were locked in Jacob's chocolate orbs; fear, apprehension, doubt, and a glimmer of hope. My hand came up and smoothed out his furrowed brow.

"Don't think so much; I doubt your brain can take that type of activity." I whispered smugly to him, hoping to bring a smile to his lips.

"Oh, Leah." He said burying his head into my neck. "I'm never letting you go now. You are mine." He whimpered into my skin.

"Ok, I'll hold you to that. Just don't let any of the guys know; I'll never live it down."

Jake just laughed and held me tighter.

~*~*~*~

A/N: As I mentioned above, I have some writers block, I don't quite know where to the story, or how to get there. Hopefully I will think of it soon! I'll try to update soon!


	8. Dancing in the Moonlight

**A/N:** Ok, so it is the day after I updated, but I got so many awesome reviews that I couldn't help but get this chapter started. I am also sick so I can't do anything else but lie here and possibly sleep. So I said "Fuck you, writers block." And here I am. A special thanks to **Kei Kat Jones **for commenting on every chapter and making me smile. Also thank you to everyone else who is reviewing, it makes me want to write; seriously, only reason I am here now and not sleeping. Ps, I don't own Twilight, I do own a cup telephone (two plastic cups with yarn attached to them, and yes, it actually fucking works! I know I am lame lol).

**Dancing in the Moonlight**

_**We get it on most every night  
when that moon is big and bright  
its a supernatural delight  
everybodys dancing in the moonlight**_

**Dancing in the Moonlight- Toploader**

I am not sure when I fell asleep but the next thing I knew I was woken up to blinding whiteness. I saw white fluffy clouds and when I looked down and could see through the clouds I saw more white. We must be getting close then. I had Leah snoozing lightly in my lap and I took my time to really look at her. Her head was resting on my chest and her long hair slipped over my shoulder, marking my white long sleeved shirt. Both of my hands were wrapped around her; one resting right below her ribcage and the other one seemed to be gripping one side of her ass. It was a good thing that she was sleeping, she would have kicked my ass if she was awake. She truly did resemble a goddess. Her face peaceful not a frown, sneer or mask that she usually wore. One of her hands was resting on my stomach and the other was fisting part of my shirt.

I took my time to ogle her like the shameless bastard that I am and my body couldn't help but react. With this new sundress I would see straight down her shirt again. I caught sight of her glorious breasts and could not stop the images that came to my mind. Caressing them with my hands; teasing and taunting them with my lips. I let out a small groan of frustration. I tried to discreetly move her but she just gripped my shirt tighter and snuggled closer to me. Leah Clearwater snuggling, who knew? I suppose she is a girl, but I never took her for the snuggling type. I have to admit, I like this new side of Leah. This brings me to remember why I am on this damn plane in the first place. I could barely believe that I was leaving; it was unreal. While I had always dreamed of leaving La Push, I had never imaged it would be for this reason. I had so many questioned that were still unanswered. What would Leah have to do here? Why was she so important to these people? The most important one; why did I care so much?

Since Leah joined my pack, I had felt much different. I felt a connection to Leah. It wasn't imprinting, even if it had not been explained, I knew it was different than imprinting. I suppose I won't have to worry about imprinting anymore. This is completely fine with me; I did not ever want to imprint. I didn't like knowing that my fate was decided for me; that the person I would spend the rest of my life with was chosen by something other than me. I suppose that I did not have much say in this weird relationship with Leah though. Could I call it a relationship? It is unlike anything I have ever felt in my life. I have an almost desperate attraction towards her. Hell, who am I kidding? I do have a desperate attraction to her, there is no almost about it. That is not all though. I also feel incredibly protective of her. Not so much for her well-being, as bad as it sounds, but I will not share her. That sounds horrible, but in reality, I know that Leah can take care of herself. Actually, I know firsthand that she can; she throws one hell of a punch when she is mad. I cannot stand the thought of another man; another man, touching her. The thought of her being with someone else brings out an insane rage in me.

"Why is my pillow vibrating?" Leah broke me out of my thoughts in a small, tired voice. I had not even realized that I was shaking; not good.

"Sorry, Leah, you can go back to sleep now." I said, moving my hand from her ass to her hips; hopefully without her noticing.

"Well, I am up now. Also, what gives you the right to grope me in my sleep?" Shit, she did notice.

"I have no idea what you are talking about, you must still be sleepy." Play it cool, man.

"Yeah, right." She rolled her eyes at me. "What's eating you anyway?"

"Nothing too big, just thinking, I guess." I did not really want to tell her what I was thinking about, I doubt she'd be too happy about it.

"Did it hurt?"

I looked at her, confused. "What hurt?"

"Thinking." She said with a wicked smirk on her face.

With that I picked her up, put her on the floor, held her down with my weight and tickled her. Yes, that is right, I tickled her. She shrieked, laughed loudly, and tried hitting me a few times. I just laughed at her attempts; she obviously wasn't trying very hard.

"Jacob..." Leah called, panting and out of breath.

I looked down and realized my hands were right underneath her breasts. I stopped and looked down at her flushed and out of breath face. She must have caught the look in my eyes and raised her hands to the back of my neck. I leaned forward and caught her lips with mine in a very slow and intimate kiss. She responded instantly, running her hands through my hair. I pressed my weight more firmly on her and she could feel my desire for her pressed against her leg. Never one to be outdone, Leah quickly flipped us over so she was on top, never breaking the kiss. I have to say; I was impressed.

"Guys?"

A voice called out in the distance. Leah removed one hand from my shoulder where it rest and promptly gave them the finger.

"You are not alone here." Caden said, breaking us of our bubble.

I groaned and Leah broke the kiss, getting up and smoothing out her dress.

"Where is the bathroom?" She asked innocently.

Well I suppose I should have known something was up; Leah is never innocent. After getting directions, she pulled me up from the ground and dragged me towards it.

"Leah?" I asked, wondering if she really was thinking what I thought she was thinking.

"I can't take it anymore, Jake. I need you, now."

Those few words ignited a fire within me. I quickly locked the door, pushed Leah against it and literally ripped her dress off. I let out a groan, looking at her naked body. I had forgotten that she didn't wear anything underneath of it. She wasted no time in pulling off of my shirt.

"I don't like it when you wear shirts." She pouted.

Had it been any other situation I would have stood there shocked; Leah never pouted.

"Well I don't like it when you wear anything, so I guess we are even."

I kissed her, hard, coaxing my tongue into her mouth. I could smell her arousal now; it seemed to be filling this tiny space in which we were enclosed from the world. My mouth broke reluctantly away from hers, needing to breath. I worked small kisses and bites from behind her ear down her neck. One of my hands slipped from her hips down towards her center while my mouth reached its destination on her chest. I slipped one finger inside of her, rubbing the hard nub with my thumb as my mouth claimed her nipple. She moaned loudly and hooked one of her legs around me, granting me better access.

"Shhh now, Leah, we don't want anyone else to hear us now, do we?" I whispered huskily onto her breast, my fingers curling inside of her to reach a new spot.

Leah moaned loudly again before responding, "They are fucking werewolves Jake, they could hear us before. Besides, I really don't give a fuck."

With those words I growled and began moving my fingers faster. Leah gripped my shoulders and dug her nails into my shoulders as her body shuddered and she loudly moaned my name. I brought my hand up to her hip and trailed my lips to kiss hers softly. She stared deeply into my eyes and gave me a small, satisfied smile. I think I would have done that every second of every day for just that look. She looked content, and can't think of a time that I have seen her look like that. Though I will admit I am a horny bastard, I am not that much of a bastard to wipe that look off of her face. I moved back just a bit, still holding onto her, and rested my head on her shoulder.

"Don't tell me that you are tired already? We haven't even made it to good part yet." Leah said, smirking at me.

"That good part? You mean that was bad?" I asked, trying not act hurt.

Leah just laughed, "Oh honey, that was amazing, truly incredible, but I am still ready and raring to go. That was just icing on the cake, great icing, mind you, but icing nonetheless."

I looked into her eyes and saw the desire there. My hand moved back down between her legs and I groaned.

"Your still so wet!"

"That's all for you, Jacob." She moaned out.

That was my undoing.

~*~*~

One of the things I loved about Leah is how strong she is; not just physically but emotionally as well. How many girls after having sex in a bathroom on a small plane could hold their heads high? There was no walk of shame for Leah; if anything there was a proud strut. She walked out like she owned the place after that; and with the way that everyone has been looking at her, it seemed as if she did. We went back to our seats and I threw an arm around Leah. For some reason I wasn't as protective of her. If I had to guess I would say that it was because of a few things; one being they just heard us having amazing sex in the bathroom, and two that the hickey I had placed on her neck had yet to heal and you could see it plain as day. I decided against telling Leah. If she didn't notice who was I to tell her any different? Besides she would kick my ass for it.

There was food laid out on the small table in front of us and I wasted no time in digging in. Leah laughed at me, kissed me on my overstuffed check and did the same. I could feel the heat of her lips still resting on my check but for the life of me I couldn't figure out why. I felt comfortable and connected to her in this way.

_For fucks sake, man up. You have fucked her twice, once pretty much in public and your thinking about a kiss on the check? Stop being such a fucking girl. _ My inner voice screamed at me.

I shook my head and looked towards the window. It was now dark and I could see the moon streaming in through the windows. Apparently we had spent more time in the bathroom than I thought.

"We will be arriving in about half an hour, just to give you guys a heads up." A shy looking boy spoke up, almost as if afraid to talk to us.

"Thanks, sweetie, what's your name?" Leah asked, I was almost jealous that she called him sweetie but even as a werewolf he looked to be no older than 16.

"Dakota" He replied timidly.

"Well thank you again Dakota, I need to get changed I think." Leah said, smiling.

I decided then that I really like when Leah got laid. She was a much nicer person. I do not think that I have seen her smile this much, well, ever actually. I was also more than happy to be the person making her smile.

"I like what you are wearing." I whispered softly in her ear.

"I also like what you are wearing." She smirked back. "But we still need to put more clothes on."

Since I had ripped her dress literally in two, she was wearing my shirt and boxers. It is a damn good thing that I decided to wear boxers today.

"We took the liberty of getting clothes for the both of you, seeing as we are going to Alaska." Caden said, pulling out two big winter jackets out of a bag and handing them to us. "Also, if you would like Leah, we have a dress here for you, and more clothes for the both of you when we get there."

"You went shopping for me?" Leah asked, confused as to why anyone who shop for her.

"Yes, well you mean a lot to us, Leah, you bring a lot of hope to our people."

"Um, thanks." Leah said, looking a bit uncomfortable but taking the dress anyway and heading to the bathroom.

She came out a moment later wearing a semi-casual knee length brown dress. She did look great, but then again, when did she not? I think the most tempting part about the dress was how it ruffled from the hips down. I really wanted to flip it up, but I resisted the urge and keep my hands to myself, mostly anyway.

~*~*~

I don't know what I had expected walking off the plane, but it was nothing like I had even imagined. I had my arm wrapped securely around Leah's waist and it was a good thing. People were cheering, showering us in flower pedals and Caden and his men (or boys in the case of Dakota) seemed more like security than anything else. Yet no one was trying to get too close, or trying to touch Leah. It appeared as if she had a layer of respect surrounding her. Happiness was in the air and you could almost feel the excitement. I looked around and had to grin, it seemed as though everyone was dancing; dancing in the moonlight.

**A/N: **Ok, so apparently writers blocked kicked my ass; then like a bitch left at the very worst time. I wrote the majority of this last night and I think I failed a test today lol. I have tests all next week and yet I couldn't stop writing. Also because its been so long, I added some lemonade and it's quite long. Oh, if anyone is wondering why Leah is acting so nice it is because she's getting some. No, I am serious. Think about it; you go years without sex and then within a span of 24 hours get three organisms from a gorgeous guy completely devoted to you. Come on now, any girl would be bouncing with joy.


	9. Iris

**Iris**

_**And I'd give up forever to touch you**_

'_**Cause I know that you feel me somehow**_

_**You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be**_

_**And I don't want to go home right now**_

_**And all I can taste is this moment**_

_**And all I can breathe is your life**_

**Iris- Goo Goo Dolls**

We only walked a short distance but it felt like forever. People were almost falling over each other to see Leah. It was like nothing I had ever seen before. It was like she was a queen, a goddess. I looked down at her, and realized that was what she was, a goddess. I did not need all these other people telling me that, I had already known that. However, what they would have to learn is that; she was my goddess. How strange life is, only a month ago, I was pinning after Bella. I would always love Bella, but my heart had finally let her go. With my arm still tightly around Leah, I think I knew why.

Just in this moment I could finally appreciate the amazing woman that is Leah Clearwater. She is so strong, brave, and beautiful and all mine. I could not understand what was going on between us but I wasn't sure that words could even describe it. It was a bond; an unbreakable bond; more powerful than love, imprinting and just about everything else. For the first time in my life I did not care about what happened next; I just wanted to soak up as much time with Leah as I could. Would things be different here? I am sure they would but different is not always bad, and with Leah by my side, they would have to be good.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Leah said, looking up.

"Huh? Oh, yeah." I said, looking up as well.

We had made it to our final destination and it was great. It was a huge white house, mansion almost. From the look of it, it must have been very old, but still very well kept. Two circular pillars shaped the front sides of the house, and there was a balcony on both floors, the bottom one circling to the left side of the house. There were too many windows to count and the roof was black and very strange. The shape of it was indescribable but there were two windows in the attic that reminded me of the ones Rapunzel would have had to let down her hair. There were different bushes clustered around the whole house and it almost looked unreal.

I was actually kind of disappointed by the inside of the house; I expected much more. It looked pretty like a pretty normal house, with more space.

Caden must have noticed my confused expression because he said, "Apparently the last Goddess did not have expensive tastes. Leah, you may change the house anyway you would like."

"Change it? Why would I want to change anything about this house? It's perfect!"

Caden gave us a quick tour of the house; probably not wanting any of the other men to witness or hear I should say hear, another one of our new favourite hobbies. The kitchen was large, filled with all the basic utilities and a few others I had no idea what purpose they had. I knew I would probably have to learn sometime though. Leah and I shared the same experience with cooking; disasters. Although I was Alpha male, she was still Leah and I knew that it was probably just going to be easier for me to learn to cook than to try and convince her to. God I was whipped already. Stealing a sideway glance at Leah's ass I decided I didn't give a shit. There was a dining room with an antique table and chairs and I briefly wondered if it would my weight but figured it was designed for wolves so it must. A living room, complete with a brand new flat screen television and some comfy looking leather furniture was next. There was also another room, filled with bookcases and more antique yet comfy looking furniture in it; complete with a fireplace for kicks I guess. A study was also on the ground floor but I did not take must interest in that.

Caden told us to explore the upstairs for ourselves; telling us to pick whichever room was most comfortable for us to sleep in. I really had to bite my tongue not to say something that would have gotten me hit for that one. Apparently there was an attic filled with just useless things belonging to the last female and Alpha male. The basement was by far the coolest though. It had an actual bar in it with stools around it and everything. Leather furniture and an entertainment system completed the room. All in all it looked like the perfect place to just relax and have some fun. I wondered if the bar was stocked or not...

"Ok, well I am sure you will find everything you need here for you, if there is anything you desire, please just let me know."

"Um... ok, errr... thanks?" That's my brilliant girl.

"I'll just be leaving you two for the night, you still have my card, there is a phone in the living room, and we'll see you tomorrow around noon to explain some more things." Caden said, walking towards the door.

"Wait! Who owns this house? Do they even know that we are here?" Leah asked, ok, there is some common sense. I was just waiting for the bastard to leave; good call Leah.

Caden laughed and we both frowned. Leah hated being laughed at because she had taken some heat from the pack (mostly Paul) for being the only female wolf; and now for whatever bizarre reason, I did not like someone laughing at Leah. Call it what you will but the need to protect Leah was still there. It wasn't just the need to physically protect her from harm, but mentally as well. Leah would be made to feel any negative emotion if I could help it. Stupid because that is impossible but the urge was still there.

"Forgive me, Goddess, but this is your house." He quickly took back his words.

"What do you mean, my house? I don't own this house." Leah said, puzzled. You and me both, babe.

"Yes, you do. This is the house the last Goddess lived in and it will only be owned by a female wolf; so this is your house."

"Ok?" Back to your brilliance I see. Well, I couldn't criticize her too much; I didn't say a damn thing. That's ok; nobody was really talking to me. Growing up with two older sisters made me pretty much one of the smartest men on the planet. If no one's talking to; shut the fuck up. I learned that the hard way when my sisters were Pmsing. A shudder went down my spine, and Leah shot me a strange look; which I just waved off.

"No other wolf or human for that matter dared to take this house after the curse she put on us all. Sure it is still very well maintained and we updated it with the latest technology once we found our hope again, but no one else will ever live in this house."

"Hope?" Leah asked.

"You, my Goddess, you are our hope."

I growled at his choice of words and held on tightly to Leah from behind her. She was mine; my goddess; my world; my hope. He flashed me an apologizing smile while Leah just rolled her eyes at my behaviour. I happily waved good-bye to the men as I watched them walk out the door soon after.

"Is it weird that now that were alone with interruptions, nowhere to be until tomorrow, that I don't really want sex? I'm just hungry." Leah said, chuckling to herself.

I laughed out loud. "Nope, that's just us, Leah, that is just us."

And it; just us, because that is how we work. I would do whatever she wanted to do as long as we could stay together. That was when the realization dawned on me; I loved her. I loved Leah Clearwater. The same Leah who punched me in the face when I got too cocky; the same Leah Clearwater who made the most inappropriate, bitchy comments at the worst possible time; the same Leah Clearwater who was always in love with my former Alpha; and the same Leah Clearwater that had a hard of stone. Anyone got a sledgehammer?

**A/n:** Sorry that took so long, and sorry its short but I couldn't help but stop there. More will be explained in the next chapter, I think, or at least another lemon lol. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! They make me write; honestly they do. If I didn't have them, I probably would quit writing, so review! Ps, still don't own anything!


	10. I Dare You

**I Dare You**

_**If yuh want to hold me round meh waist, (I dare you)  
Come and take a taste, (I dare you)  
Trouble in de place, (I dare you, I dare you)  
If you want to hold me from behind, (I dare you)  
Come and test meh wine (I dare you)  
Tickle down meh spin (I dare you, I dare you)**_

**-I Dare You- Destra**

"Holy shit, look at all this food! God damn, they sure know how to feed a girl here." I looked over at Jake and he was spaced out, not paying any attention to me, jackass.

Now I had a predicament. I could either throw something at his face to get his attention or I could get creative. I chose creative, my art teacher would have been proud. I tip toed up behind him and put my arms around his waist. At the same time I began moving my hands up and down his abs I took his ear lobe in between my teeth.

"Jac-ob." I called softly into his ear; making sure my breath fanned over what I just had in my mouth.

He leaned back into me and let out a soft moan "Leah."

"I have something to tell you. It's something that I want. Are you listening?" I dipped my hands lower, underneath his shirt to the tip of his pants and just slightly underneath them.

"Yessss Leah."

"I want...." I trailed over, bringing my lips down and nibbling on his neck.

"What do you want Leah?" His husky voice sent shivers down m spine.

"I want.... Some God damn food." With that, I removed my hands, stepped away and continued with my search through the cupboards.

Jake did look impressed at all; but hey, at least I had his attention now.

"Leah." Jake growled, but not in the sexy growl that I loved, in the 'what-the-fuck are you doing?' look.

"Come on, food! You love food, I love food, now let's eat."

Jake glared at me one more time before he sighed, shrugged his shoulders and said, "Well, you are right about that. What kind of food does this place have?"

"I would have told you earlier if you were fucking listening to me!"

God damn prick just smirked. "Baby, I was thinking about all the things I could do to you in this house. Hell, we even have a fucking bed here." The look he gave me made me want to forget about the food and jump him right here and now.

The way he said 'Baby' sent my senses on fire. Normally I am completely against pet names. Honestly I am. Sam use to call me them all the time but I had always hated them. I don't know why but when Jake called me baby, it didn't make me want to gag, it made me want to smile. Oh shit, I am getting in fucking deep, too deep. How is this even possible? I swore I would never develop feelings for anyone ever again. It is just too much shit for me. How do I know that he won't leave? I looked over at him, pulling open cupboards and searching for something in the fridge. I saw him pull out a frozen pizza with a proud grin. He looked at me, still grinning. I took in his shining brown eyes, breath taking smile, and dazzling face and realized that it didn't matter if he left or not. He was here now, with me, and he could have any part of me that he wanted.

"Leah." His voice brought me out of my trance.

"Uh, yeah?" Yep, that's me. He can dazzle me with one look, and instead of playing it cool, I stutter, good job, Leah!

"Were you listening to me?" Oh fuck, nope, not at all Jake.

"Oh yeah, for sure I was." Never admit defeat. Jesus I sound like this is a god damn battlefield, not a kitchen.

"Oh, yeah? What did I say then?" Shit, fuck you Jacob Black.

"That you found food for us?" I guessed. By the look on Jake's face, I guessed right. Ha! Take that! Yes, I am that immature.

"You only knew that because you know me too well." He said, throwing me a fake glare.

"Yep, you are right. I wasn't listening to you at all Jacob." I brought my voice lower, giving it a husky sound when I said his name. "I was thinking about you." I used the same husky tone and he visibly shivered from it. See, I didn't lie; I merely made him think I was talking about something else entirely.

"Leah." He used his Alpha command voice and this time it was me who was shivering.

I can't get over that voice. I don't know why but when he goes all Alpha crazy, I just want to jump him. He took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. I took that time to just have a little peak at the fine specimen that is Jacob Black. Ok, so maybe it wasn't just a little peak. I took in his bare feet, strong legs that I could just make out from his semi-tight jeans, then to his strong chest and abs which I couldn't completely see but have seen enough times to know how great they really are, his strong arms, big hands, strong jaw, his slightly swollen lips, and finally his eyes, which were staring into mine by now. He ran a hand through his hair, shaking it out and I swear I almost drooled.

"If you keep looking at me like that, we won't ever eat."

I grinned at him. "Is your appetite bigger than...?" I trailed off, looking him up and down once more.

He just groaned and ran his hands through his hair. "Leah, your making this so hard for me right now."

I raised my eyebrows at him and walked over to him, "I can't help it if it I make things hard for you, Jake." I said huskily, looking down, and well hello there little Jake.

Just before he was about to grab me I ran behind him, grabbed the pizza box and turned the stove on.

"Oh, girl..." Jake said, threateningly. Silly boy, you don't scare me.

"Who are you calling girl? I am all woman!" I said, flaunting my body.

Of all the things I thought Jake would have said or done to respond to that comment he surprised me. He laughed, throwing his head back, and for just a moment I stared lustfully at his strong neck. How can a neck be strong?

"Oh baby girl, I happen to know that." He wrapped both of his arms around me from behind when I had turned around to cook the damn pizza.

Baby girl? Are you fucking kidding me? Really, Jake, really? I mean come on, I don't think that term of endearment works at all for me.

"And before you say anything to that, yes, baby girl. You are my baby girl." How the fuck did he know what I was thinking? Jesus Christ, this boy knows me too well. What the fuck is this "my" thing all about? Why the fuck do I like it?

~*~*~

We had finally made the pizza, along with various other easy to make foods. We had found _Pulp Fiction _on TV, and not being able to say no to such a classic movie, were watching it while eating. One of the things I love about Jake is that he just lets you be. There's no complications, no unnecessary words, just me and Jake. I was worried about tomorrow and I could tell he was a bit worried about it as well but no words needed to be said. I knew that whatever happened, Jake would be there. I knew that if I needed anything, Jake would take care of it. I knew that if I wanted to go anywhere, Jake would come with me. That in itself was strange for me. I knew Jake was a loyal person, having been in the same pack with him, and watching his loyalty to Bella, but I had never been the person he was loyal too. In all honesty I didn't have much experience with people being loyal to me. My family I guess, that would be about it. Jake had always just been one of the pack members. I had hated them all out of principle (aside from Seth that is). Now we have some weird connection sex thing going on. I actually don't understand any of it. I know some of it was explained to me but you can't really explain this, you can't explain feelings. They just are, you just feel them.

Jake had his arms wrapped around me and I was wearing his black shirt and a pair of his boxers because the dress had gotten annoying. It didn't help that Jake tried three times to flip up the skirt while we were making food. At this moment, I didn't want to be anywhere else but here. I didn't want to be with anyone else but Jake. I didn't want to do anything that didn't involve Jake. I knew that I would go anywhere and do anything that Jake asked of me. All he had to do was ask.

"Penny for your thoughts." Jake said, rubbing his hands up and down my forearms.

I looked up into his big brown eyes and was suddenly shy. This is saying something; I've never been shy in my life. I didn't even think it was possible.

"Thank you." I said, looking down at the floor. "For everything. For letting me into your pack; for coming with me; and for just being there for me."

"I'll be here for you through anything. I'm not sure if you've noticed but people don't get rid of me that easily. You are stuck with me now." Jake being Jake did a horrible impression of an evil laugh, scooped me up and started tickling me again. What is with him and tickling?

I laughed and struggled out of his grip and looked coyly at him. He got up, with the intention of coming after me but I ran upstairs. I stopped at the entrance of the main bedroom. I know it sounds weird, seeing as we have already had sex twice, great sex, might I add, but I was nervous. Sex in a bed seemed so much more than we had done already. Was I sure that I wanted to take this next unspoken step? Jake seemed to sense my hesitation and stayed where he was a few steps away from me.

"Leah, there are plenty of other rooms I can stay in. I don't have to stay in here with you."

When I looked up at him, noticing the nervous way her wrung his hands, and the unsure look in his eyes; I knew my answer. I wanted whatever this more was; and I wanted it with Jake.

"I'm up for it if you are. This is if little Jake is still around there somewhere." I said teasing him.

I took notice of the teasing and lust in his eyes and almost moaned then and there.

"Come on, big boy." I said beckoning him with a finger while walking backwards into the room. "I dare you."

**A/N:** Holy shit, sorry for the wait everyone! I have no idea why but every time I have exams and tests to study for, I really want to write lol. This chapter isn't as long as I would like but I wanted to give you guys something before I had to bunker down and actually study for my exams. Thanks to everyone! Ps, if you haven't figured out that I don't own twilight yet....


	11. Lollipop

**Lollipop **

_**Take a look at a boy like me  
Never stood on my own two feet  
Now I'm blue as I can be  
Oh, love only got me down.**_

**Mika-Lollipop**

A bright light met my eyes when I was just waking up and I vaguely remember wondering why I had taken down my curtains. Usually I had dark curtains hanging over my one window so that when I slept after a night patrol the light wouldn't bother me. I found that I didn't care and snuggled more deeply under the blankets and into my pillow. My nose itched for some reason but I just ignored it because I wasn't ready to wake up just yet. Then my pillow moaned. Ok, I know that is impossible. Not only did the pillow moan, but it moaned my name. I guess that means I am getting up now. I opened my eyes and saw black. Well this is strange. I thought it was light in here. Then I realized why I saw black and why my pillow was strange this morning. It wasn't my pillow that my head was resting on, and it wasn't my bed that I was laying on. I was lying in a massive bed, in a huge room, with my head lying in the nook of Leah's neck. Dorothy we're not in Kansas anymore.

She looked gorgeous curled up against my side. I wasn't sure how I didn't notice before but my arm was lying across her stomach and her head was rested against my chest. It was the first time I had ever spooned with a woman. Wow, that sounds funny. Note to self; do not tell the pack this. Hell, Leah was the first woman I had ever even had sex with. I would never tell her or anyone else that but I think she knew. I mean the only girl I had ever take interest in was Bella. It was strange, lying here with Leah, thinking of Bella now. I had thought that I was in love with her. Hell, maybe I was. That was a clusterfuck and a half. Even after all that she put me through; I still went out of my way to protect her and her devil spawn. Was that out of love or loyalty? Man, things are fucking confusing. I had never doubted my love for Bella once before this. Now I know I don't love her anymore.

The scary part of being with Leah again is having her do something like Bella did. I say something like because I don't think Leah would ever run off with a vampire boyfriend, and if she did, well I'd feel sorry for her having to put up with that stench. That would ruin a sex life right there. Though, the thought of Leah having sex with someone else made my blood boil. Love is a powerful emotion. Once you are in love with someone, the life you once knew is over. This is not always necessarily a bad thing; your life just changes with that person. I was just starting to get over my feelings for Bella; I didn't want to put myself through love again. I know it sounds so negative but love has always been a bad thing for me. What did Bella ever give me? Pain. Sure, we had some good times, some happy times, but in the end she always hurt me.

What the hell was I doing falling in love with Leah Clearwater? There was no way she wouldn't hurt me. That was what Leah did; she hurt people, or tried to. Under all the cold exterior Leah put out though I think she only tried to hurt people because she herself was always hurt. Her thinking was that if she hurt someone first, they wouldn't hurt her. It was just a defence for her, she put up too many walls so she wouldn't be hurt again. Is it possible that she could love me back? Is it possible that she could let down her walls for me? Is it possible for me to hurt her? Looking at Leah, her beautiful brown eyes just blinking open, I realized that there was no way I could ever hurt her.

"Hi." Leah said, her big brown eyes looking up at me.

"Hi." I said, not being able to tear my eyes away from her.

"What the fuck are you staring at?" Typical Leah, I wouldn't change her for the world though.

"I'm looking at you, sweetheart." I smirked at her.

I have no idea why I keep calling her these pet names. I knew that she didn't like pet names, but they just seemed to slip out of my mouth. It was like I couldn't help it.

"What is sweet about me?" She asked.

I looked down at her and smirked. My hands slipped down her body, rubbing her thighs.

"I can think of something that is very sweet." I said, nibbling on her neck.

Two things happened at the same time; Leah let out a breathy moan that set my skin on fire and a loud knock interrupted us.

"I'm going to kill whoever that is." I growled out.

"Maybe if we're quiet, they'll go away."

I just looked at her.

"Shut up. I am not that loud!"

I raised my eyebrows at her. The knocking continued.

"I don't think they are leaving anytime soon. We should probably go down there."

I made no move to get off Leah even though I knew she was right. She laughed at me, gave me a small kiss and pushed me off of her.

Eventually we made our way downstairs and let Caden in. He nodded to me and took Leah's hand and kissed it. I couldn't stop the growl that came out. He put both his hands up and took a step back. That's right, fucker. You better stand back, you don't touch my Leah. Wait, my Leah? I suppose she is my Leah, even if she won't admit it. That has a nice ring to it, my Leah. Note to self: don't say that to her or she'll kill me. Well maybe not kill me but I'd definitely get a punch in the face.

~*~*~

"Ok, let me get this straight. This city is the "werewolf capital" of the world, you are the ruler, and when wolves have problems that cannot be fixed themselves you go and sort it out?" Leah asked, summing up what Caden had taken twenty minutes to say. Leah is good like that. She is very blunt and likes to get straight to the point; no bullshit in between. This can be a good thing and a bad thing at times.

"Yes, that pretty much seems to sum everything up. Our job is to make sure our species survives, to keep our secret from the general public, and to make sure that wolves are not abusing their strength in order to hurt humans."

"Well, where the fuck do I fit into all of this?" I had to hold back my chuckle. Ah, Leah.

Caden seemed a bit taken back by Leah's bluntness and profanity but he didn't say anything. Good for him, the last thing anyone wants is a pissed off Leah on their hands. Trust me, I would know. He will get use to Leah, she's always like this and it usually takes people a while to adjust. I have to say; even though I don't like the guy, he seems to be doing pretty good.

"Well, you can essentially do anything you really want to. You have more power than anyone else here. If you wanted to, you could rule, fight, travel, and do anything really. What is most needed from you is your moral support. Just having you here gives everyone faith and hope." Caden explained.

"You see, we are coming onto a sort of dark age of sorts. Young wolves everywhere don't want this life. They want to live a normal life with friends and less responsibility. It is also harder for them to believe in legends and traditions. With you here, it backs up some of our most sacred legends. More of the younger wolves are starting to embrace this life, and the traditions and responsibility that come with it."

I could tell something that Caden was saying was bothering Leah, but she wouldn't say anything in front of him. If Leah doesn't like something; she will make it known but she won't show any weakness in any way shape or form. She always feels a need to be strong, sometimes stronger than everyone else. It is what makes her Leah.

I ushered Caden out; while Leah sat almost unmoving. I made sure to tell Caden that we would call him first before the next time we met. Leah would need some time adjusting to everything and adding in anything new wouldn't be helpful. When I walked back in I didn't see Leah but I knew that she hadn't left. I found her out on the balcony, sitting on the railing, and looking out.

"How are you doing?" I asked, walking up to her.

She turned to face me then and I could see the sadness in her eyes. In that one moment I vowed to myself that if there was anything I could ever do for her not to have that look I would do it. I put my arms around her and she cried into my chest. I stroked her hair but said nothing. There was nothing I could say or do in that moment to make her feel better. All I could do was hold her and be there for her until she was ready to talk. I had never felt so helpless in my life.

"How can I do this, Jacob?" She said, tears streaming down her face.

I held her face and wiped away her tears. "Do what, sweetheart?"

"Be the hope and faith to these people? I don't have any faith. I was just like them. I don't want to be the way I am, I want to be normal. I still haven't embraced what I am, so how can I try to convince anyone else to embrace it? I am nothing; I am a nobody, so how can I mean so much to these people? They need someone else; I am not good enough."

She put her head down again but I tilted it up with my hands. "Look at me, Leah. You are not a nobody; not to me. You are the strongest person I know. You take on so much responsibility and have been through so much. You can handle anything. If you are not good enough, then no one is. I have faith in you, you can do this. I will be here for you every step of the way. If ever you feel this is too much, or that you really can't do this; we'll leave. I won't hold anything against you, not now, not ever. If you want to leave right now, in this instant, we'll leave. I think we should stay though. Let's see how things go, I really do believe that you can help these people."

Leah just looked at me for a really long time, contemplating everything that I had said. Then in one swift motion, she threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tight to her.

"Jake, I don't know what I would do without you." She whispered in my ear.

"No, Leah, I don't know what I would do without you."

I really had no idea what I would do without Leah. She was my world now and there was no turning back.

**A/N: **Wow, sorry that took so long. I know I told everyone that I would be done in a week but real life caught up to me. I am back in school now so I should be back to updating more regular. I know it seems strange because you would think I'd have more time at home, but I don't. Sorry about that but on the Brightside, more was explained by Caden.


	12. Any Day Now

**Any Day Now**

_**How long, how long, how long will we take to come undone?  
If you know the answer tell me now and I'll write up a calendar for our count down.  
'Cos what if what we see is all, is all we've got?- **_**Any Day Now- Missy Higgins. **

I looked over the balcony, watching the sun go down. It was truly beautiful, but I knew that it wouldn't last, nothing beautiful ever does. Beauty fades with time. With every passing second, beauty fades away until eventually you never even knew it was there in the first place. Nothing ever lasts forever for that matter. Everything moves on, changes, and in the end nothing is ever how it was in the beginning. I've been told forever before, one too many times. It didn't add up then and it won't add up again. I looked up at the strong man who was currently holding me. I saw the sheer determination on his face and I knew that he was completely devoted to me. However, I had seen that look before.

I wonder if it's worth it to love someone even though it will eventually end. I knew I loved Jake. I wished that I didn't, and I could barely admit it to myself, but it was true. I had two options now; I could get out of all of this now, leave and never see him again, or I could just live and love as strongly as I could until then end inevitably came. They both seemed like bad options to me. I knew which one I should do, I just didn't know if it were possible anymore. Could I leave this beautiful man? Could I tell him to leave me? I looked into his eyes and I had my answer; never. I could never leave him, and I could never ask him to leave again. That didn't mean that he would never leave me, though. I would have to be content with whatever I could get for as long as I could get it, I suppose. I just wish I could know when he would leave me. When would I get my heart broken for the second time? When would my world come crashing down on me again? If I could know that, I could be prepared. I could figure out a plan, try to weave myself off of him. I'll never know when though; not until it happens.

"Leah?" Jake said, stroking my cheek and looking into my eyes.

Oh shit. That tone. Is he going to tell me he loves me? Is he going to tell me he doesn't? Is he going to leave? What do I say to any of these things? Why am I so paranoid all of a sudden? Oh yeah, because I fell in love again when I said I never would and I am terrified.

"Yes, Jacob?" I said, almost gasping for breath.

"We should talk to Seth."

Oh no.... Wait, Seth? What?

"Huh?"

"Seth, your brother, you know, the one we left in Forks to come on this crazy adventure. The one we told that we would talk to as soon as we got here."

Shit. We were dead.

"Fuck."

"Yep, that's the one."

"Should we call him or just phase?"

~*~*~

In the end we decided on phasing. You know those things that seem like a great idea at the time but then after you think "God, I am stupid"? Well it kind of went like that. Nothing was going on with the Cullen's, well other than the bitch being pregnant with the spawn of Satan. If something had been going on, we would have known because we would have seen it in Seth's thoughts. That's why we decided on phasing, Seth wouldn't have been able to lie to us. Not that he was a great liar anyway. There lies the problem, however. I am great with hiding my thoughts. I always made sure they were hidden when I was with the pack. However, Jacob is not so great at hiding anything. I suppose that is a good thing, you always know when something is on his mind. My little brother didn't appreciate the honesty in Jake's thoughts. Hearing about a sibling sex life is something nobody wants but seeing it just so happened to push Seth off the edge. He was completely livid. It's a good thing we are so far away; if we had been in the state of Washington; there would have been a fight. I would have put my money on Seth.

It also should be noted that you should never be able to hear the thoughts of the person you are involved with. That would be why I am currently sitting in the bathroom, with the door locked, away from Jacob. Also may not be a good idea to share a house with someone you just started seeing. Could we call it that? Were we dating? Or were we just having sex? What was this whole thing with Jake and me?

"Leah." Jake called.

No, I was not going to answer him, I didn't want to talk to him and I could stay in this god damn bathroom all fucking night if I wanted to.

"Come out of the bathroom, baby."

Baby? Really? Your actually going to call me baby right now? Cocksucker.

"It was just a stupid fight! Come on, Leah!"

Just a stupid fight! Ha, you have quite a few things to learn, Jake. He really is an idiot. He was the one to start the "stupid fight" anyway.

_We were just phasing back from our wolf forms when Jake laughed. _

"_Jesus, I have never seen Seth so mad!" _

_I looked at Jake and gave him a cold stare. "You haven't seen anything yet."_

_He looked completely shocked and confused. "What are you talking about?"_

_Ok, I guess subtly doesn't work at all on Jacob. Obviously I was pissed, why can no guy ever figure that shit out? Why do I always have to spell it out to them? Fuck!_

"_What's going on, Leah?" Jake asked softly. _

"_I don't know, why don't you ask her?" I snapped back. _

"_Who? I don't know what you are talking about." Jake said, running his hands through his hair. _

"_Bella."_

"_Oh. " He looked down but I knew he was pissed. Good, maybe he can figure out that I am too, and Leah Clearwater never backs down from anything, especially not from a man. _

"_What the fuck, Leah? What the fuck does Bella have to do with anything? Keep her out of it."_

"_Oh, so now you are trying to protect her? Why the hell do you care so much? I can see it in your mind, dipshit." _

"_She was my best friend, Leah. She was the woman I was in love with."_

_Of course she was. Of course you just fucking went there. What about the woman who is in love with you now? What is she, chop liver? _

"_Do you still love her?" I asked quietly, dreading the answer. _

_He didn't say anything; he just kept looking at the ground. _

"_Well, do you?" I demanded, I don't fucking back down. _

"_NO! Ok, no! Not like I did." He yelled, waving his arms around like some fucking air plane traffic control guy. _

"_Then, why the fuck do you care so much?" I didn't even skip a beat. Your anger doesn't scare me, Jacob Black. I may be terrified that you'll leave me, but I'll never be scared of you. _

_He looked away frustrated and then turned back, determination shining in his eyes. _

"_If it were Sam that needed protecting, would you care?"_

_I gasped. Did he really just fucking say that? How the fuck could he say that to me? _

_You fucking bastard. I never said the words at loud, but I didn't really need to. _

I haven't spoken a word since. How could he bring Sam into this? He knew, he fucking knew what that prick did to me. I couldn't help but wonder if this was the day. Would this be the day we broke up? Would this be the end of us? I honestly didn't know, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to know or not.

I also couldn't help but think, would I try to protect Sam? Maybe, probably, fuck, I don't know. I suppose it would depend on what the consequences would be. If it meant loosing Jake, I wouldn't even have to think about it.

"Ok, Leah, just open the door! You don't even have to come out, I'll come in there."

I didn't move a muscle.

"Jesus Christ! Alright, can you at least unlock the door then?" He said after he didn't hear me move to get up.

Yeah, because that's what I'm going to do, unlock the door for you, cocksucker. Fuck you! I moved from my position on top of the sink and went to the window. I looked out and wondered if I could make it to the ground. I probably could, but then I would have to phase, and deal with Seth again. Fuck that. I don't need a lecture from my little brother, or to give him another excuse to try and kill Jacob.

"Leah Clearwater! Open the damn door!!!" Jake yelled, pulling on the doorknob.

Oh, well since you used my last name, of course I will open the door for you. Yeah right, jackass. My sarcasm abilities sometimes even impress me.

"I swear to god, Leah, I will break down this god damn door!"

This isn't your house, Jacob. You wouldn't dare.

BAM!

Ok, I guess you would dare.

There he stood, in all his pissed off glory, the door lying in shreds at his feet. Looking at him like that, I couldn't help but think that I hope we'd get over the fight soon because he looked so fucking hot like that. His expression changed as he looked at me. He looked helpless, lost, like a little boy. Where did hot, confident, cocky Jacob who just broke down that door go?

"Leah." He said my name with so much emotion. He looked up at me with sad, lost eyes, and it damn near broke my heart. Hell, I think I just felt it crack.

He held his arms out, and as if I were attached by a magnet, I ran to him.

"Oh baby girl." He almost sobbed out; hugging me so tightly if I were human I wouldn't be able to breathe. He pulled away to look me in the eyes. "Don't ever to that to me again, ok?" His tone was dead serious. I have never seen him look like that ever. "Please, Leah." He begged. "Don't ever look at me like that again. I had no idea what was going on in your head, I had no idea what I could do. I was so helpless!" His words cut me to the core.

"Ok, Jake." I hugged him back. "Next time you piss me off, I'll be sure to let you know, very loudly."

Jake just laughed, hugged me tighter and murmured, "Anything would be better than that."

I guess today wasn't the day.

**A/N: **Sorry it took me so long. My friends brother passed away a week or so ago and I had to help my other friend deal with it. Mix in staying with her every night, driving almost an hour everyday for class plus exams and I had absolutely no time. I have a week off so I may get some more writing done. Also, they needed a fight. Come on now, its Leah, you had to have seen it coming. They got over it though.


	13. Songbird

**Songbird**

_**I wish I knew which button to push**_

_**Then I'd know how to please you**_

_**It's sad but true**_

_**So I'll just listen in down the line**_

_**While you're busy mixing grapes with grain**_

_**To sedate your pain**_

**-Songbird, Bernard Fanning**

Leah was the most complicated woman I had ever met. If something pissed her off, the whole fucking world would know about it. However, if something hurt her, she'd never tell you. You would know because she would make it obvious she didn't like you, but she'd never say those words out loud. Leah was a fighter, a soldier, and soldiers never admitted defeat. We stood there, holding each other for at least an hour.

"Ok, are we good now?" I asked her, looking down at her. I stuck a stray piece of hair behind her eye so I could see her face better.

Leah looked up at me, her big brown eyes shining up at me, tears streaking down her face and nodded.

"Oh baby girl." I said, hugging her to my chest again. "I am so sorry; I didn't mean to say something like that. I knew I shouldn't have but it just kind of slipped."

Leah hugged me back tightly. "No, Jake, I am sorry. I shouldn't have flipped out. You were right. I was just so... jealous!" She said the last word muffled into my chest.

I took a step back, bent down so that I was face level with her and gently whipped the tears away. "Honey, why were you jealous?"

"Just because!" Leah snapped at me. I just chuckled quietly to myself, that's Leah for you.

"Sweetheart, we have to talk about stuff like this." I told her gently.

"Why? Why do we have to talk about this?" Leah had this amazing talent of being able to whine, pout and glare all at the same time. It was actually pretty cute, even though I'd never tell her that.

"Because, I really like what's going on between us, and if we let this one little fight go, we'll never know for next time. It will continue to haunt us and we won't be able to get past it. So, we need to talk about it."

Leah just gave me a pissed off look.

"Leah, do you like how things are?" She nodded her head, looking down. "Do you want them to end?" She looked right back up at me then, with wide eyes and shook her head quickly. "Good, neither do I. So now, let me ask you again; why were you jealous?"

"Because..." I sent her a look and she sighed before she began speaking again. "Because you loved her, because what if you want her and not me someday? Because I don't want you to leave me." Leah looked down again when she was finished.

I understood now. She thought that because I use to be in with Bella that I would go back to her someday. She was still insecure about herself from Sam, that fucking bastard. She was scared that I would leave her just like he did somewhere down the road. When the fuck will she realize that I am not him?! I don't just leave people like that. Look at all the shit I put up with for Bella, does that not matter at all to her? I took a few calming breaths because getting angry was never the way to deal with Leah, she always won. Hell, if she lost, she won because she'd end up either making you feel like shit or beating the fuck out of you. Trust me, I have been there.

"Leah." I said, trying to break her out of her staring contest with the floor. She ended up kicking the floor. See I told you, if she doesn't win... "Look at me please." She finally looked up, her expression almost breaking my heart. I know she wasn't going to like what I was about to say and god have mercy on me because I am not sure she would. "I. Am. Not. Sam." I made sure to drag out all of those words. Her expression turned to fury and she damn near stomped away from me. "Hey, wait, just listen, ok? I won't leave you, especially not for my knocked up with some demon half-vampire child, soon to be vampire, old best friend. I want to be with you. That's what I want, plain and simple. Now, it's time for you to answer the same question. What do you want?"

"I want to be with you too." She said quietly. I knew she was trying to stay mad at me but I don't think it was working. "But what about-"

"Doesn't matter." I quickly interrupted her.

"Well then-"She tried again.

"Nope, that doesn't matter either. I want to be with you, and you want to be with me. What else is there to think about?"

"Your right, I guess." Leah mumbled so quietly that if not for my super-hearing I would not have heard.

"I'm sorry, what was that? I didn't quite hear you. Did you just say that I, Jacob Black, was right for once?"

"Yeah, well don't get fucking use to it." She grumbled, crossing her arms across her chest.

I started gloating, knowing what was coming. I mean, I knew she was going to kick my ass but come on! I don't think I have ever heard Leah say that someone was right. I mean, if she was wrong, she still said she was right and that she was just making sure we knew it when we fucked whatever we were doing up. So I was expecting her to yell, scream, stomp her feet, punch me, kick me, anything but what she actually did. She fucking kissed me! A hell of a kiss it was too. She grabbed me right by the scruff of my neck, hauled her mouth to mine, and kissed me. However it didn't last long. Soon afterwards she pulled away, smirking at me.

"That outta shut you the fuck up." She said smugly to me.

"Well that all depends, if I keep gloating, will you kiss me again?" I asked cheekily.

"Nope." She said, popping the "p". She stepped closer to me and whispered in my ear, "If you would shut the fuck up for a few minutes, I might just kiss somewhere else." She ran her hands down my bare chest and then back up again. "And if you don't" She said, stepping away again. "Then you and your hand are going to become _really_ good friends. That's your choice. So Jacob, let me ask you your own dumb ass question. What do you want?"

I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "You. I want you, always." And I meant it.

But god damn, she fucking won again!

**A/N: **Holy fuck I am so sorry! This chapter was way shorter than I wanted it but I wanted to give you guys something! After helping my friend grieve, then catching up on my stuff for University, I started having what was thought to be serious health concerns. I had to go for an emergency MRI and a spinal tap. I'm fine and on medication (which makes me tired and hard to concentrate so that's fun lol) but I should be fine overall very soon! Now I have exams, which is hard enough but piled on top of everything... So yeah, sorry again! School is out next week for me, which means I can update more! Sorry if I seemed to be bitching (kinda was, not gonna lie lol). Thanks for reading!!


	14. Bad Romance

**A/N: **Wow, it has been waaaay too long. I am so sorry to everyone who is still reading this or has at least come to check it out and found that I finally updated. It's not even a long chapter. I got very side tracked and real life got in the way for far too long. I'm back now! Anyway, sorry again for the wait, here it is!

Ps. I don't own the characters or anything like that! Just the plot. And Caden, I own him

**Bad Romance **

_**I want your drama, the touch of your hand  
I want your leather studded kiss in the sand  
I want your love  
Love, love, love, I want your love  
(Love, love, love, I want your love)**_

You know that I want you  
And you know that I need you  
I want it bad, bad romance

I am what you would call an over thinker. I think way too much. I go over the negative, the positive and then the negative again. I have always been that way, and probably will always be that way. I don't view myself as a bad person, but I would never have gone so far to think of myself as a goddess. I suppose I have always thought of myself as different from the other wolves, more as a freak accident of nature than a goddess though. I've never had the freedom of being able to do anything I wanted before. Here I have that freedom. I have the freedom to do literally anything I want to do. The question is; what do I want to do? To that, I have no answer. I can't be anyone's role model. I can barely make the right choices for myself, let alone for other people.

How do I look into one of the younger wolves eyes and tell them that they should embrace this life, when I have not? I have never wanted this life, have literally cursed it and yet here I am. What am I doing here? Why did I choose to come? I suppose that after all the times of being unwanted, being wanted sounded too good to pass up. Now that I'm here, it just seems too good to be true. Nothing really great ever happened in my life, at least not for long anyway. Why should I believe this to be any different? There is a banquet in my honour tomorrow night. It all seems like too much for me. Really, I don't feel that I should be honoured. Plus, I'll have to be nice. I really hate being nice.

Then there's Jacob. He has been really…sweet. And trust me, sweet is not a word I often use for anything, ever. I feel like I would follow him to the end of the world with a big, sappy smile on my face. That is not a good thought. It is a very scary feeling, love is. I swore I would never love again, yet here it is.

I walked slowly back to the house. I could see Jake's shower along the bathroom mirror. As I entered the bathroom, I slowly shredded my clothing, leaving it on a pile next to his. I paused for a moment, just looking at the two piles of clothes. It felt strange to see another pile of clothes next to mine. Looking at them, I almost lost my nerve before getting into the shower with Jake. Then I remember who I was. I am Leah Clearwater, badass and not afraid of anything, especially not showering with a man. I could tell that Jake was pretending not to know I was there, he was a wolf after all. And my, what a wolf he was, especially when he was naked.

"I thought you could use a little company." I said, sliding my arms around him.

"Well it did seem a tad bit lonely in here." He replied, turning around and kissing me.

One hand wrap around my back and the other found my breast quite easily. I moaned, breaking the kiss as he took the nipple between his thumb and forefinger. He began kissing down the side of my face, and nipping at my skin when he came in contact with my neck. I assumed he would stop there, but after a short pause, he continued trailing his lips downward. I threw my head backwards when his mouth came in contact with my breast. When he continued his trail even further downward, I pressed my hands onto the wall for balance. Somehow I still managed to remember not to press too hard. I didn't want to have to stop because I fell through the wall.

"Too much, Jacob! If you don't stop I'm going to…"

His dark eyes peered up to me, "You're going to what, Leah?" He continued stroking me as he spoke. I was so worked up, I couldn't make out the words.

"It's ok, Leah. Come, come for me."

With that, and his hot mouth on me, I came. Jake held my legs steady as I came down from my high, panting. The water was still on, the steam rising out of the shower. I put my hands on Jake's shoulders and pulled him up to meet me. I kissed him passionately and I could feel his hard on between us. I reached down to touch it but his hand reached mine first. I broke the kiss and looked up at his, surprised.

"That was just for you. You need to relax. It's not always about me, giving you pleasure give me pleasure." With that he smiled, turned the shower off and stepped out.

As I followed him I realized that not only would I follow him where ever life took him, that I would love every second of it.


End file.
